Wes and I (with Ivy) hop on a plane for Chicago nest week for the wedding of my oldest friend. Not oldest being age, but oldest being first friend ;). And I’m excited. I haven’t seen her since my wedding and I’m excited to share in the joy of her day.
haha. Hi Les!
And I’m excited to toodle off with Wes. We’re sorta tossing our nine year anniversary (what?!) in with this trip and my parents will be there and so they can hold Ivy while we go kick our heels up.
But before all those feelings come, is first the thought that the plane will go down and I’ll leave behind my two eldest as orphans.
Bit of a buzzkill, eh? Welcome to motherhood. They’re really not joking when they say that business about your heart no longer being inside you, but instead wandering around with your children.
And so then the next thought is getting all our affairs in order and how I want to write the ‘in case I die’ letter to my children. (The what if road is not a good one to go down).
And then I remember this here blog. And how my love for them seeps off the pages. And I’m relieved all over again that they will have something tangible to hold on to if my what if’s came to pass.
And so. Once again.
Ev. I adore you. ‘Turn your eyes upon Jesus’ is still your bedtime song of choice and and so I get to sing in to you a couple times a day. And it’s such a good reminder to me as I sing to you; to let the things of this world (my anxiety) grow dim as I look into Jesus’s face. My prayer is that these words become etched on your heart and that you are able to live them.
I love you missy. You are my favorite little Evelyn.
Jackie. The other day I had to take Ivy to the dr. I was separated from your presence for an hour while you read books with Ev and your aunt and then we went to Chik-fil-a for lunch. I sat next you and as we ate, I reached over and rubbed your back. You looked over at me with your little ‘v’ shaped, close mouthed grin, scooted over towards me on your knees, reached your little arm up, hooked it around my neck and brought my face down for a little cheek to cheek hug. I might have melted right there in Chik-fil-A. I pray you always keep your tender heart.
(This is the blurry version of your v smile Jackie. Patent it bud, it works well).
I love you Jackie boy.
Ivy Mae. I’m so glad I get to squish you whenever I want next week. You fit perfectly over my heart and fill it up with a single snuggle. One of my favorite things is to watch your daddy when you squeal and clap and giggle at him. You melt hearts baby. Your face lights up when Dad comes home from work or whenever Ev or Jack run into the room. If you had a tail, it would wag. The delight you show and the love you give truly does warm the cockles of our hearts.
I love you baby. You and those cheeks and those squishy thighs.
Gosh. All praises to Him for these gifts of mine. May they always know how loved they are, not just by me and Wes, but by the one who made the stars and who formed their hearts.