Gosh. Lots to talk about over here. But first, in case you missed it, I am indeed pregnant with baby number three. We told Evelyn after my first doctor appointment (which is a story in and of itself, I took both kids to my appointment by myself for my first exam; spread a blanket out, dumped some goldfish and some toys and hoped for the best). And telling Ev was just about the best thing ever.
She got to tell both sets of grandparents and that was funny. She was super intent on opening up some mail and dead panned, ‘Mama has a baby in her tummy,’ (tear tear the envelope). They were like, ‘what? Is she serious?’.
I’m due New Years Eve. I was discussing some pregnancy symptoms with Wes and realized the fun fact that I have been pregnant in 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, and judging by the fact the Jack was a day late, will be pregnant in 2017 as well. It sounds kinda like a lot.
We’re not finding out but I’m 90% sure it’s a girl. I wasn’t really surprised that Ev was a girl and that Jack was a boy. But I will be very surprised if this is a boy. I kind of want a brother for Jack, mainly because I see Wes with his brothers, and I don’t have a sister. So I just think that me and Ev can stick together and the boys can be boys. But since I’m so sure this is a girl, I am already wondering if we should have another to try for a brother.
And then I went to the doctor this week for my fourth ultrasound. And they want me to come back on Friday to see a specialist. And it’s not really stressful except who likes going to the doctor? The scenario is the same, baby breech, head measurement at zero percentile. Because they can see the patter, they are not concerned, just would like a specialists stamp of approval.
Since Jack was a successful VBAC, I’ve not really considered the possibility that this one won’t be too. And then I go in and keep hearing ‘breech,’ and I’m like oh gosh. What if…nope. Not going down that road. But it still toys around at the back of my brain. And so this week for the first time, I was like, wow, imagine if this was my last?
But. I’m doing my pilates. Jack flipped around thirty three weeks, and there’s plenty of time for this one to. I’m remembering that Jesus knows me and my desires. And I’m finding him reminding me that he’s with me.
Like on Monday. I had to get lab work done. I walked into the waiting room and began the check in process and immediately was drawn to the monologue happening over to my left. An older gentleman, who looked like your average Joe but didn’t necessarily act like it was cheerfully telling an older lady about his upcoming Halloween party. He was pretty thrilled to be dressing up as a sheriff and went on to detail different parts of his costume, including badge and hat and…He looked up and saw that there was another person to visit with and began to tell me about the black pants and shoes he was to wear and how he was going to wear his very own glasses and that I wouldn’t even be able to recognize him. I told him I probably wouldn’t.
And then he pulled out a couple fun facts about himself, including that he could sing songs in sign language.
I told him I liked sign language and asked what his favorite song was.
He beamed and proudly told me ‘Jesus Loves Me!’.
I said go for it and I’ll do it with you.
And so I stood at the sign in desk and he sat in his chair and began slowly saying the words. Jesus loves me. This I know. For the bible tells me so. Little ones to him belong. They are weak but he is strong. Yes. Jesus loves me. Yes. Jesus loves me. Yes. Jesus loves me. The bible tells me so.
And together we signed. And I had to blink a bit as he repeated, Jesus loves me.
And I’m pretty sure Jesus was there.