pioneer woman for a day.

Oh friends. This was truly rich. Highly enjoyable. And just really quite amusing.

Just so we all start on on the same page, I love pioneer woman. I call her p-dub. We go way back. And it’s a good thing we’re so tight otherwise Wes and I probably never could have accomplished the feat I’m about to tell you.

So. Wes and I are all dolled up and headed to a rehearsal dinner. We toodle merrily along the roads, pull into the long driveway, go around a bend, and there stands a cow. Or maybe I should say a calf. And it’s Wesley’s brothers’ calf.

We stare at it for a moment. And then I say, ‘don’t worry Wes. I read pioneer woman. I know what to do.’

I gently prod Wes out of the car, take over the driver seat of the car and glory in the fact that we are in the mighty forrester. Wes is overcome with confidence that pioneer woman and I have his back.

And thus the adventure begins.

photo 1-001Wes begins by gently coaxing.
photo 2-003

Cow considers. I holler things out the window like, ‘away to me!’ and ‘come by!’ all the while merrily snapping photos on the iphone.
photo 2-004

Cow nibbles. Then decides Wes is too close. Cow tries to bolt. I’ve been prepared for such a moment and slam it into reverse to keep cow away from road and thicket.

Wes somehow gets cow to cross driveway and I drive parallel and a little behind in case cow bolts. I’m better at forward than reverse.

By this time we have a very interested audience of three brown cows. They’ve been tracking progress the whole time.photo 3-003

We make it to the gate and I park the forrester so we have a longer tunnel to shuttle the cow through. Unfortunately, cow makes a wrong turn and ends up in a dead end.

Wes works with what he has and off comes the belt.

photo 4-003

And thus begins the game of tug-a-war. Cow was not pleased and the game did not last very long. The belt snapped. And cow retreated back to dead end. (Notice the spectators).

photo 5-003And here’s where I really come in. Just to give you a visual, I’m in a long gray and black skirt, flowy pink top, and blazer. Perfect outfit for the job..

So Wes goes into dead end with cow and shoos him out. I’m standing right about where the cow is in that last picture. I open my jacket and widen my stance so I look really big. Sort of a ‘don’t mess with Texas’ pose.

It works! Cow runs toward cleverly parked forrester, hangs a left with us hot on its heels and runs through open gate.

We high five. Laugh. Call Russel and tell him he owes Wes a belt. He’s like, ‘that’s not my cow.’

Crud. Er… ‘Was it supposed to go in the fence??’

It was. Sigh of relief and laugh all over again.

And we continue our leisurely drive to the rehearsal dinner.

Not every day I get to pretend to be PW.

So rich.

About A Story of Us

My grandparents 57th wedding anniversary and my first wedding anniversary motivated to journal the adventures life brought our way . I hope to amuse the friends and family I have all over the country and, when I am my grandmothers age, look back at what I have written and chuckle. It's been four years since I began and the snickers I bring myself as I look back propel me to write on. Cheers to the future and happy memories of the past.
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10 Responses to pioneer woman for a day.

  1. ikd6405 says:

    I really think you ought to send this to p-dub herself. Really.

  2. Aunt Stace says:

    Ok. I LOL’d. Really loudly. And, I second ^^ her motion. Do it!

  3. Chad says:

    Great post! You have once again made me laugh-out-loud….at work. Very impressed with the use of “away to me” and “come by”!

  4. Jeannine says:

    So I guess Eric owes Wes a belt!! Funny, funny! Wonder if old ‘Whitey’ will prove to be a ‘cow of a different color’ when it comes to staying in the fence. Yikes!!

  5. lsm says:

    That was rich! Livened up my Thursday evening!

  6. That’s a great story. I needed a good laugh today. Perfect. You’re way too young to remember Gene Autry and I’ve got spurs that jingle, jangle, jingle (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0ac5AVosug), but this story reminded me of a story Uncle Mark would love to tell you. UM, had an old house with an old fence up in Loomis, CA. Tried his hand at raising cattle. Yep, UM. Rancher. Kind of what comes to mind. Then again, when I think of Ned I don’t immediately think rancher and I think he’s done ok at cattle raising. UM’s “ranch” was on a busy road. His cows get out. On the road. Neighbor calls. UM panics. Doesn’t want a cow lawsuit. Calls his good friend Bill Scott. A very ample individual. Bill and UM chased cows up and down King road before some ranch hand bailed them out. Bill was walking up King road. Head down. Dripping. Disheveled. UM asks him, “you ok?”. Bill just replies, ‘I ain’t got no spurs that jingle, jangle, jingle’. Classic. And you’re way too young to appreciate it or Bill. And to further derail this, Bill must be a good guy. He and his wife are now raising and training Border Collies in Northern California.

    Keep blogging. I haven’t had the chance to write in awhile.

  7. Rachel Stevens says:

    Oh, Kels!! I sat reading and laughing aloud!! Only you could come by such a situation and your telling the tale truly makes me feel like I was there!! I love your writing. You definately have the knack. Keep it up you PW!! And yes, you have my encouragment to send this to p-dub!

  8. campbellpianostudio says:

    i love you, Kelsey.

  9. Mel says:

    Even Allan read the entire post (& chuckled). Maybe you could follow up this post with a baby post…

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